I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
the night ended with taco bell and tears
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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