I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Still dying that you shit outside
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
