Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
