Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize