all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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