omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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