In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
