Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
