moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
