i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
