Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Bang-toberfest begins!!
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
