That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
