just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
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