Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
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