I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
