Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
