I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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