Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
