are you so shy because you have an std?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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