Sry I called you an 8
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
