She's like a pop up book from hell.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
