I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i dont even know how to be here
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize