My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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