Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
