She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
