Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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