i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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