There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
