we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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