If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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