Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
