I wish I could teleport
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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