Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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