I think scott just propositioned me for sex
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
