hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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