if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
