making cat noises will not fix the situation.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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