No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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