Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
