oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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