I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
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