and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
