well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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