everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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