meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
