So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i think i have two assholes
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Dick very happy bro
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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