absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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