Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
