I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
