all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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