I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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