tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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