Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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