So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
