I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
