Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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