Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
