I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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