I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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