I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
