I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize