My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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