That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
