You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize