wat bout pragnant strippers??
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
