I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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