Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
