we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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