absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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