that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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