I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize