So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
