I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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