Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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