Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
