it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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