its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
