i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
