Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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