Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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