is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
