Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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