Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
