Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
