what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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